I'll stand by you
by StrawberrySab
Summary: REPOST - Alicia's thoughts as Peter is about to give his first speech as Governor


The flashes of the cameras hit Alicia's sight in an unpleasant way. Instinctively, she brings her right hand up to protect her eyes from that pesky lights. She isn't used to it anymore. The lights, the shouting, the confused and messy overlap of journalists' voices. She has spent the last few years trying to take the distance from a world that brought her family to prominence at first, just to tear it apart, mercilessly, heartlessly, only a few years later. She hates the press. She hates the journalists' twisted and a bit evil ability to take somebody's mistakes, even the most insignificant ones, and turn them into deadly, unforgivable sins. Peter has made his mistakes, yes. He has paid for them, totally. All those persons, those unknown faces who keep throwing unfriendly questions of any kind, they never did. Not once their conscience peeped out to make them consider, for a brief moment, how much they hurt people that didn't deserve it.

Now, five years later, Peter is taking revenge on all those soulless hacks. From the height of the sumptuously decorated podium, he is about to give his first official speech as newly elected Governor of Illinois.

Alicia squeezes his hand, almost unconsciously. Only when she notices Peter turning around and gazing at their clutched hands with a smile, she realizes how tight she is holding him. She is nervous. Proud, excited, happy, but still nervous.

She is nervous because she knows that all his achievements and successes, all his commitment and diligence, all his passion and good intents, are fragile, vulnerable, prone to fall into irreparable pieces even under the delicate, imperceptible flutter of a butterfly's wings. This time, it won't be easy. This time, he will be judged, analyzed, checked on every single act, word, move, decision. This time, the press will be there for one reason only: watching him fail and fall again.

She is nervous because, although every single cell of her body keeps telling her that standing by his side is the right thing, deep down inside, she is a bit scared. She knows he has changed, she witnessed his changes, day by day, as he slowly, ponderously, tried to regain his life, his pride, his place in a society that had so heavily punished his weaknesses, as he slowly, discreetly, quietly, tried to win back her love, her respect, her esteem and trust. Not once he had forced her. Not once he had pressed her.

She is nervous at the thought of what all that means for her, for them, for their kids. A new life, a new home, new friends, new neighborhood and acquaintances. She still doesn't know what to do with her career. It feels like starting everything from the beginning. Again.

But whatever happens, there's one thing she is sure of: she is exactly where she wants to be.

She returns his smile, softly. She turns at the journalists and smiles, confidently, as she slowly gets used to the psychedelic play of lights of the raved flashes.

She watches quietly, almost detached with her discreet yet outstanding presence, standing by, as Peter gets close to the microphone and starts his speech. She smiles as she recognizes that familiar, passionate look of his early days in politics, when everything was for mere passion and came right from his heart. She had always found his enthusiasm fascinating and magnetically captivating. She had always been attracted by his unconditioned love for justice. She had always adored to be part of it, to be his personal adviser whenever he was in doubt, to support him completely whenever all he needed was a sidekick.

As Peter's reassuring, confident voice, spellbinds the press to the complete silence, her mind relives their previous conversation, their last moment together before the chaos broke loose around them…

* * *

_Behind the wide, almost intimidating hall, the clamor of the journalists, the operators, the few invited politicians, the press were still just a background noise, confused, almost imperceptible._

"_Is everything okay?" Peter asked Alicia. His voice and his eyes didn't hide some anxiety. Peter never feared or dreaded the press, not even in the darkest and most troublesome moments, he had always braved the difficulties, the mistakes, the downfalls, every enemy or obstacle with his head held high. But today, something was worrying him. What was it?_

"_Everything's okay," she told him, with a reassuring smile. "You?"_

_For a moment, silence filled the hallway. Peter nodded, lightly, then looked down. "You know they will tear me to pieces at the first false step…"_

"_It's very likely," Alicia agreed with a light smile, as she tried to defuse the tension of those last moments._

_Peter smiled at her, then looked away, pensive. "Whatever happens… no matter how it goes…" He said with some hesitancy as he looked back at her, "I don't want to lose you again…"_

"_Whatever happens, no matter how it goes… I'll stand by you," she said softly, reassuringly._

_Peter's eyes leaked a moment of weakness. "I love you."_

_They had both learned how easily and quickly their lives could be destroyed. They had both learned how arduous and long was the way to pick the pieces back together._

"_I love you too." She leaned closer to kiss him delicately on his lips. There was no better feeling in the world than being there with him. She gently rested on his chest, letting him circle her waist in a moment of calmness, intimacy, probably attempting to embolden each other._

_She enjoyed for the moment the soothing feeling of his hands, delicately caressing her back, up and down, till they rested on the small curve at the bottom of her back before sliding delicately a bit more down._

_Alicia broke the kiss with reluctance and gave him a look of faux reproach, nipping his intentions in the bud. "I don't think it's appropriate that the newly elected Governor and his wife show up at their first official appearance messy and creased…"_

_Peter smiled and looked at her with calculated approval. "May it never be! Who knows what the press might say…"_

_Alicia shrugged. "That we had some offstage fun to release the tension?" She said with a smile._

"_Peter!" Eli's voice made them both turn. "It's time," Eli invited them kindly to follow him._

_Peter nodded at him then looked back at Alicia. "Ready?"_

"_Never been more ready in my life," she said, as she held his hand firmly and sighed deeply._

_Behind the glass doors, she could already see the rabble and the first flashes._


End file.
